


She's a handsome woman

by SolitarianKnight



Category: Teen Wolf (TV)
Genre: Derek is really kind of obvious, Derek sort of wins here, Derek.Hale. In a prom dress, Failwolf Friday, Humor, I cannot unsee this, I shoulda put him in a dress, It needs fanart, M/M, Oblivious!sheriff, Pancakes!, This is just a great funny story, Well kind of Fail sheriff, he really does, really - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-03-08
Updated: 2013-03-08
Packaged: 2017-12-04 15:21:52
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,911
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/712236
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SolitarianKnight/pseuds/SolitarianKnight
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The Sheriff isn't stupid. He's the sheriff for a reason obviously, and while he may not always be able to tell what's going on with all the recent animal attacks and unexplained deaths, he most certainly can tell when his own son is in love.</p>
            </blockquote>





	She's a handsome woman

**Author's Note:**

> Here is a cute little funny story from the sheriffs POV. Everything is as was left in the last season. This is set a few months after. As always, this is unbeta'd so yeah, that means the grammar probably will irk some of you. Oh well. Enjoy.

The Sheriff isn't stupid. He's the sheriff for a reason obviously, and while he may not always be able to tell what's going on with all the recent animal attacks and unexplained deaths, he most certainly can tell when his own son is in love.

He had first noticed it after Stiles was released from the hospital two months ago. He had wrecked his jeep into a tree, or so went the story. The jeep in question HAD certainly been through hell, but trees don't normally leave such uniform claw marks. Either way, he was more concerned with Stiles's recovery, which was surprisingly fast for someone who had 4 broken ribs, a dislocated shoulder, sprained ankle and 5 gashes down his chest and back.

At first it was little things. Stiles would look down at his phone and grin, texting back whoever it was and then staring intently at his phone until they responded before repeating the process.

He would catch his son staring off into space with a light smile at the corner of his mouth and his eyes focused on something in the bare air. Often though he would be jerked from his daydreaming though when his phone went off, as it always did throughout the day.

Then, one Saturday afternoon about a month ago, he caught Stiles leaving the house wearing one of his nicer plaid button downs, with one of his few pairs of unripped jeans. His hair, which had grown out longer over the past few months, was carefully styled with gel. When he asked him who the hot date was Stiles just got red in the face and mumbled something about ridiculous accusations and going to the bowling alley with Scott and some friends before bolting out the door.

Heh, his little man was growing up(ok, so he's 17 but still. Stiles will always be his little boy). It seems like it was only yesterday that Stiles was splashing around in the local swimming-hole while he tried to teach him to swim, as his mother watched from the shore with that same fond smile she always had when looking at her two boys.

Those times were over now though. They had cried and mourned and eventually learned to cope with their loss. Still, he wishes that she was around sometimes. She was always much better at knowing how to act in these situations, knowing her she would be laughing at him right now for all his awkwardness, telling him to leave the boy to his own devices. And he would too, except for the fact that if there was one thing that Stiles inherited from his dad, it was his overwhelming sense of curiosity.

That being said, the Sheriff did his best to stay on the sidelines and not badger his son about the new-found love interest. It was different too though, before when he had been falling over Lydia Martin he couldn't shut up about her. Always mooning over what she was wearing that day and what color lipstick she wore. This time though there was nothing. Not aloud anyways. Clearly whoever she was, Stiles new crush was more than an unrequited love interest. This made the Sheriff happy too. Knowing that his boy had finally found someone who gave him the time of day.

 

* * *

The first time he almost saw her was at the bowling alley. Stiles had once again told him that he was going to the bowling alley with Scott and some friends. Once again he was looking far too cleaned up to be hanging around just his friends. Unfortunately he had to work that night so any further snooping would have to wait.

He left for work only half an hour after his son left. His plan was to spend most of the night just cruising around the small town to keep an eye on things. It was always rather quiet though. Until bodies show up in the morning of course. Still, nothing dramatic had happened for a few weeks and he counted it as a win. As luck would have it though a call came in about a potential domestic fight outside of the bowling alley, and hey, he was the Sheriff it was certainly his job as the towns protector to check it out, even though he was not the closest patrol by a long shot. Still, he turned his cruiser around and called in to let them know he was on it.

When he pulled up into the parking area a few minutes later the owner of the alley was standing on the sidewalk with two red-faced men on either side of him. He got out of the cruiser and went over to see what the spat was about.

As it turns out, it was nothing. Literally nothing. Two idiots who got into an argument over a missing bowling ball. Seriously, sometimes he really wondered about the citizens he protected. The confrontation was settled and the bowling ball was found.

As he was heading back to his cruiser he happened to notice a blue jeep parked at the other end of the lot and well, there's that curiosity. Just a quick check is what he told himself, to make sure the interior of the bowling alley was safe. Yup.

Aiming for stealth he entered through the side door of the alley next to the concession stand. He chanced a glance over the lanes and spotted Stiles only a few lanes away. He was watching as Scott rolled out a perfect strike and gave a pat on the back. Besides them, Allison, Lydia, Jackson, Danny, Issac, Erika and a boy who believed to be named Vernon or Boyd all stood around 2 lanes. He knew Stiles had made friends this year but he could have never imagined that this was the group he was hanging out with, since all of them had been either arrested, investigated or hospitalized over the past year.

He was more preoccupied with searching for who Stiles potential new girlfriend was though. Lydia was obviously hanging off that Jackson boy like always and Erika and Boyd seemed pretty content with each other. Allison and Scott were obvious. Even Isaac and Danny were making moon eyes at each other. Maybe she was in the bathroom? Of course, when he turns around to leave he runs right into a wall of muscle and leather.

"Derek" he greets.

"Sheriff" Derek straightens up and shifts the basket of curly fries into his other hand so he can straighten out his jacket.

"Fancy meeting you here" He inquires. Derek looks a little flustered at this but keeps his composure.

"Isaac dragged me out of the house to come play a game with his friends" he responds. That's right, the Sheriff remembers, Derek had taken Custody over Isaac after his dads death.

"Right, well make sure they don't get into any trouble for me will you? I have to get back to patrol" and with that he give Derek a rough pat on the shoulder and offering up a smile before exiting through the side door again.

He may not have seen her there but she definitely was. If the same love struck look on his sons face was anything to go by that is. And now, now he was determined to find out who this mystery girl was. He was the Sheriff and a Father, he would see this mission through to its end.

 

* * *

It was a week later that he thought he would finally get to see the mystery girl. There was a home game and what good girlfriend wouldn't show up to her boyfriends lacrosse game? Especially since Stiles made first line this year after scoring the 3 winning goals of last years final.

He got off work and rushed over to the school so he could get his usual seat next to Melissa. Normally he would just walk through the gap between the two set of stands and go straight to his seat. This time though, he decided to take a more scenic route that involved walking down to the start of the first stand and then all the way down to his seat to sit next to a slightly puzzled Melissa.

"Uh, in a walking mood John?" she asked.

"Just thought I'd take a more scenic route, you know, see who's all here tonight" he smiled.

"Right. So, who's the perp?" she grinned.

"Stiles's new girlfriend" he quipped. Melissa's expression tightened a little and her back went straight.

"o-oh, So he has a girlfriend now?" she feigned obliviousness. It was painful to watch.

"So it would seem. You wouldn't happen to know anything about it now would you?" he put on his cop face.

"Nope. Why would I?" She chirped "And stop looking at me like that, I'm not saying anything, not that I know anything anyways and that is final."

And really, when Melissa said something was final, it was indeed final. He was about to try anyways but she cut him off.

"Quiet now, the game is about to start" she hushed him.

The first half of the game went over pretty standard. The opposing team tried, and failed, to score a single goal. Scott was playing at his best as always, dodging and ramming into the other players like it was child's play. Stiles was still getting used to keeping up with the other first liners but he was definitely playing his part, taking blows like they were nothing and recovering just the same.

It happened when Stiles scored his first goal of the night and the crowd went up into their usual frenzy of cheers and shouts. The Sheriff was right there with them and so was Melissa, but Stiles's attention was elsewhere. He was grinning like a fool and staring at someone in the crowd on the other set of bleachers. Following his line of sight though he only saw a few people he immediately recognized. Erica, Lydia, Allison, and Derek, which, ok he was probably here for Isaac's sake since Danny himself was on the team.

What was odd though was that Derek was smiling. Not just a fake smile or a forced one, but an actual honest to god smile and the Sheriff doesn't think he has ever seen Derek smile like that before. It's good to see him having such pride in Isaac and being happy. He really deserved it for all the world had thrown at him.

Still, the question is, who was his son smiling at and WHO was this damn elusive mystery girl who seemed to avoid him at all costs. Maybe she was older? Stiles is 17 so technically he is still a minor. Another thought was that it could be a girl he had arrested before. Beaconhills may be a small town but there is not shortage of drug use and stupid teens doing stupid things. He is pretty sure that Melissa would tell him though if his son was dating a ex-con.

Unfortunately the rest of the game was pretty simple, they won the game as always with an incredible lead and they teens all went out to celebrate. Melissa went to work at the hospital and the Sheriff went home for a good nights rest after a long day. He was too proud of his son for winning to care about much else except for the small annoyance in the back of his mind of the fact that his sons girlfriend once again eluded him. That's ok though, because homecoming was in a month and that was all he would need

* * *

He had to admit to himself, this was going maybe a tad bit far. He was stationed in his cruiser outside of the High School staring intently at the front door and the lights shining in through the windows. It was an easy job, he has someone do it every year just to keep an eye on the dance. Normally though it would be one of his rookies, after all, stakeouts(if you could call it that) were normally boring and uneventful. This year though he had insisted that with all the crime and murders over the past year and a half. It was a legit excuse. If he also happened to be waiting for his son to exit with his mystery girl then that's just his business. Of course, it's never that easy.

He knew Stiles was going to the prom, he has definitely made that clear. The suit he wore was tight, navy blue and fit him like a glove. He remembered wondering when his son had built up his frame from being a lanky little spaz to a lithe first lineman. Or where he had found the time. Perhaps that's what he and Scott had been doing all summer.

He waited an hour after the kid left to drive his cruiser over to the school. When he got there the parking lot was absolutely packed. Not a spot in site so he had resolved to parking on the sidewalk. Tonight would be the night that he finally got to see this girl. He just knew it.

So he waited. and waited. and waited. The hours ticked by with very little movement outside except for a group of girls and guys exiting into a limo to take them god knows where. The dance only lasted til midnight and slowly people started to exit the school and drive off. Still no Stiles.

After the parking lot was empty and the doors were locked he decided to do a little more investigating. Sure there were a lot of kids and a lot of cars, but it is pretty hard to miss his wife's blue jeep. So he took out his cell phone and called Stiles.

Hi you have reached the voice mail of batman, please leave a message after the long-awaited beep, which if you think about it, is really a pain in the neck since you have to sit there for god knows how long waiting for a beep, and not just any beep the right- *beep*

Who did he kill to deserve this. Really.

It was already 1:30 by the time he got home and he almost didn't realize that Stiles jeep was there, parked a little haphazardly in the driveway. As he got out of the cruiser he was careful to shut the door without making a sound. He quietly slipped the key into the lock and entered the house, slipping the door closed behind him. Now for the tricky part, stairs. Living in the house for almost 20 years had its advantages, he knew which stairs creaked the most and which were completely silent. As he worked his way up them he had to wonder to himself why exactly he was still sneaking around, in his own him none the less.

When he reached the top step he walked over to Stiles bedroom door, which was shut as always. Something was just burning at the back of his mind, telling him to walk away and leave it be. His curiosity however, was just too much. He turned the knob with practiced experience and opened the door just a bit, enough for the hall light to illuminate the room.

The first thing he sees is Stiles, passed out on his stomach, shirtless. His limbs star fished everywhere, one hand on his waist, a leg hanging off the side, another arm thrown over Derek's chest, and hi-

His arm. Thrown over Derek's chest. Derek's. Derek Hale.

Oh.

So he stood there. He gaped. He stood some more. And then he quietly closed the door and went to his room and fell asleep.

No way in hell was he going to deal with this without coffee.

* * *

He woke up to his alarm at around 7. This was good, now he could do the standard parental waking of his delinquent teenage son and his older ex-con secret boyfriend. And when you put it like that...

He got dressed (wouldn't hurt to do this in uniform, plus. gun), and mentally prepared himself for how this would all go down.

He would wake them up looking border line irate.  
Stiles would flail.  
He would pin Derek with his best stare and then demand they both be down for breakfast in 10 minutes.  
They would both show up 15 minutes later  
He would be making pancakes with bacon, because this may be his one chance to get bacon.  
Stiles would apologize  
He would lay down the rules of the relationship  
Stiles would be shocked and hug him  
They would all eat  
Derek would leave  
The end.

Of course. No.

He quietly slid his door open and made his way down the hall to Stiles's room. Once again he opened his sons door without making a noise and let it swing open all the way to reveal his son and Derek in bed together.  
Except Derek wasn't in the bed. Neither was Stiles. He was so stunned (that mental preparation was hard to pull of so early) he didn't hear the bathroom door open and close.

"Excuse me, dad" Stiles chirped from behind him. He did not jump. He did not.

"Stiles? What the hell, where's Derek?!"

"Oh, he's downstairs with breakfast. You should go join him, i'll be down in 5, just gotta get dressed soo" he motioned to his doorway with one hand, the other on his towel.

"Right. Yeah breakfast" he moved out of the doorway, still to shocked by the casual nature of it all. This was not how things were supposed to go. There was supposed to be flailing. FLAILING!

Stiles passed him into the room and shut the door. So he turned towards the stairs, deciding what the best course of action would be.

Maybe it was all a joke? A prank or something. Except, that was most definitely the smell of bacon wafting up the stairway and bacon was no joking matter in the Stilinski household.

Cautiously, he made his way down the stairs and through the dining room(the table was set for 3) and rounded into the kitchen. He probably wouldn't have believed it if he hadn't seen it either, Derek Hale standing there in Stiles pink apron(it used to be his mothers) whisking batter with one hand and flipping pancakes with the other. In the sheriffs' kitchen. Like it was his own.

"Morning sheriff" came Derek's gruff voice, sounding just as chipper as Stiles's.

"Good morning Ex-con Derek Hale who is Dating(?) my underage jailbait delinquent son" it all kind of slipped out without him meaning to.

"Bacon is ready in the microwave and the first batch of pancakes will be done in just a second if you want to have a seat. There is a fresh pot of coffee as well." Apparently Derek was great at pretending not to hear extremely embarrassing Stilinski force rambling ramblings, only further proof that he is the one who has been seeing Stiles all this time.

"You made bacon?" was all that came out.

"Turkey bacon. Stiles said you needed to watch your heart so I convinced him that Turkey bacon would be fine, better then Tofu Bacon" he replied, this time turning to offer the sheriff a small smile.

Ok. So clearly Derek was trying to sucker up to him, well guess what. He was the towns sheriff, a highly respected officer of the law who was trained to accept no bribes. So offering him bacon, that was totally going to work. And it did.

He went ahead and got his mug out of the cabinet and poured his coffee and pulled the bacon out of the microwave to take back to the table. Really. It was all too domestic. Derek Hale was standing in his kitchen making him breakfast. He was sitting at the table drinking Coffee and Stiles was, well Stiles was stumbling down the stairs in typical Stiles fashion. At least some things never change.

"So, dad, how's the bacon?" he asked.

"Uh, its good son. Would you mind explaining to me what exactly the HELL is going on here?" he gave Stiles his best interrogation glare, knowing perfectly well it would have no effect.

"Well you see, Derek and I have been dating for a while now and I have been trying to find the best way to tell you. I wanted to wait until I was 18 but he insisted that it wasn't right to keep it from you for 6 more months. So I brought him home after the prom last night and we started to plan how we would tell you but we both kinda fell asleep and when we woke up this morning I wanted pancakes so Derek offered to make some and then I took a shower and you blocked my door way and then I'm assuming you came downstairs and got your coffee before I came downstairs and you asked me what was going on, so yeah. " He took a deep breath.

"Pancakes are ready" Derek butted in, placing a large plate of literally perfect pancakes on the table between them and taking his seat next to Stiles.

"So, neither of you thought this would be a bad idea?" he asked.

"Nope", "No sir" came the replies.

"Because you know Derek, I could arrest you on the spot" he spared a glance at the man

"I'm aware" came the even tone.

"But you won't" Stiles said.

"And why is that" he quirked an eyebrow at his son.

"Well one, Derek makes the best pancakes ever" he would concede that this may be true, "and two, I have been in a steady relationship with him for months and you haven't been in trouble at all in those few months." This was also true, Stiles's "crime rates" seemed to drop in correspondence with the arrival of his new gir- boy friend.

"Alright, so I'm not going to arrest him" he agreed. "But there will be conditions" he let his sheriff voice take over. "First, I will not hear or see anything the rates above PG between you two. Second, Derek will not be staying over on school nights or vice-versa. Third, Derek will be here one Friday of every month for diner. And finally, condoms. Use them." let out a sigh and let his hands wash over his face. "Are we all clear?"

"Yes sir, thank you" came Derek's immediate reply.

"Nope. How about Derek stays over every Saturday night and makes breakfast for Sunday morning?" Stiles asked.

"Derek?" he shot Derek a questioning look.

He shrugged, "I'll bring sausage next Sunday."

"Alright that is settled then, you two can clean up breakfast, I've got to run to the Office for a few hours." he excused himself from the table.

"Actually, Derek has to get to work but I can get clean up" came Stiles's response.

"You work?" he asked

"Dog trainer" was all Derek said. Stiles covered his mouth to stifle his laughter.

"Well good. It was nice seeing you this morning I suppose." And with that he left.

He went over the morning in his head on the way to the station, it really wasn't that bad in the end. He met his sons new girlfriend. She's a He. He is Derek Hale.

What could he say, the kid had good taste.

 

 

 

**Author's Note:**

> Alrighty, now that that is finished I would like to see who wants a sequel from stiles/derek 3rd person POV? As always, love you guys, comment and kudos.


End file.
